EP 1: Be Our Guest Over Dinner

In our first episode we share a little bit about ourselves & how the over dinner podcast came to be. 

EP 1: Transcript

Welcome to the Over Dinner Podcast.

I'm your host, Nikki Sammet, and I have my Uber driver here today, Jarrod Sammet, some guy picked up on the road.

Hey.

Welcome.

Thanks for having me, man, this is great.

Yeah, I'm so glad to have you.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the Over Dinner Podcast.

If you know me, my name is Nikki.

If you don't know me, I guess my name is Nikki.

And I'm Jarrod.

If you know me, if you don't know me, call me Slammer.

Beastie wild card.

Beastie wild card.

All right, wedding was the hashtag wild card.

It was.

Anyways, I'll try this one more time.

So welcome to our very first episode of Over Dinner.

We are so excited that this is actually happening, and we want to welcome you to join us.

It's not over dinner right now, it's after dinner.

It's currently 10.25, but hey, it's cool.

We're parents, this is the way it goes.

But tonight, we're sharing with you about how we came to be, what over dinner means and the why behind it, how these episodes will go so you know what to expect, and a little bit about what we'll be talking about.

Yeah, sounds great.

Yeah.

Let's talk about how it started.

So I think I'm proud of you because I think what really kickstarted this is you've been really on your own journey of personal development probably over the last year.

But I would say most, like a year, over a year now, but more specifically, last six months.

Yeah, last six months.

Therapy, writing, a lot of things that you've been doing.

And through your processing, we just started, we always have dinner at night.

That's kind of our rituals, is us to just have dinner.

I make dinner, we have dinner.

And those conversations just started to change a little bit because you had questions.

Obviously, I'd done a lot of work, but you just were making connections and had questions.

And our conversations got really deep and a lot of just thought-provoking dialogue that we were having.

And we were just sitting there one night and we started just getting our iPhones out and press record.

And we're like, why are we recording one night?

There's obviously, we feel they're really great conversations.

Maybe others would feel them.

So I think we just decided at that point that, hey, we actually have always talked about doing something together, right?

That our paths were eventually crossed in the stuff that we were passionate about and the work that we did.

And I think that just that moment happened and we realized it at dinner.

I feel like we got to share these conversations.

It's pretty beautiful, I think, how it started.

Yeah, I love it.

I think that this dinner table has been a space that we've had really important conversations that have been, whether they're really exciting, opportunities that have come up, there are painful experiences, growth, experiences, I mean, just really everything has been discussed over dinner and at this table.

And so it's cool that we're also recording this and having these conversations and furthering it at this table.

And I, yes, you were ahead of the game.

You know, you started this journey, what, a decade ago now?

Yeah, and it took me a little bit to catch up, and I needed to go through all those things.

And what really kicked off my personal development journey was probably postpartum, round two, of really just feeling like I was stuck.

But what really was the catalyst was Jake being diagnosed autistic last March, or two Marches ago, two Marches ago at this point.

And that just cracked me open because it really forced me to look at myself, how we wanted to raise him in this world and who are you now, who am I now, and the advocating I needed to do, the research I need to do.

I mean, my identity, your identity as well, completely shifted.

And so we're now parents of an autistic child, right?

And so at that point, I'd like to say I've written about this before, that I had a perfectly masked shell.

And at this point, it started cracking, because I couldn't mask anymore.

And I also realized I don't want to teach Jake to mask who he is.

I'm neurodiverse, I'm ADHD, I was diagnosed when I was 10, and this has been something that I've been navigating really my whole life.

And so finally, I mean, over the last year, I started therapy, but then Pax was diagnosed with cancer.

I needed an outlet to write about things you encouraged me to write.

And at the same time that we're going through that, I really just questioned so many beliefs about the world, about life, about myself, and it brought us to this table to have questions.

And I had a lot of them that you were able to answer.

And what Jarrod and I have realized is that I'm the host, and he's the guru because he has so much, you have so much knowledge and you really connect with things so deeply.

And it's still changing, right?

I think new information comes in, but I'm also learning from you.

So I think that's what's great about this is, I know a lot of it is you asking questions or having a thought and then posing it, and then we kind of go into a dialogue.

But I think that's the beauty of it because I've learned a lot from you over these conversations just as much.

So I think that's what's going to be great about this is we're each going to bring in our unique journeys to the table and each have knowledge and some things and questions for each other on our thinking and stuff like that.

But it's cool as our paths kind of crossing and coming together and talking about certain topics that I think we're more aligned on than ever, which is cool.

It's been really special.

And what I think is really important to note, which is a part of our why of what we're doing, is I had the opportunity to share with you through my mess of the...

Because if anybody has gone through a personal development transformation, I don't know about you, but I was crying in the shower, I was having light bulbs all the time, and there was very specific moments I remember feeling very overwhelmed with just a realization that I didn't have before.

And having somebody that I felt really safe with and really comfortable to talk about these experiences with, letting this person see me imperfect, has been really, really beneficial for not only me, but for our partnership.

And so that is something that we know we want to say is that parenting life, all of it, is really tough.

It's really hard, and I think a lot of us hold ourselves together more than we need to.

But society is really pressuring ourselves to look a certain way, to act a certain way, to have all the things.

And so what our hope is, is that you can take that mask off and that you can learn to really love who's within.

And we don't know everything, as Jarrod said, we're still learning a lot.

But what I can say with complete certainty is that the work that both of us have done, we're different people in a really beautiful way.

And the way that I feel now, it's like I have to share that.

Well, I think we said this, I think we can teach the best when we're in the mess.

As we're navigating and processing through our lives and the stuff that's coming up for us, I think, and the fact that we're choosing to be self-reflective in those moments, that's when we're going to be the best teachers, right?

If we figured it all out and everything like that, it, I don't know.

Not relatable.

You're not relatable.

So I think our whole point of this is first, we're making the choice to grow.

I think that's important, right?

That was what brought us to the table is we're both committed to self-reflection as individuals and growing, and then naturally that causes us to grow together.

But we're in the mess.

We're navigating new things that come up all the time as individuals, but as a couple and in a relationship.

So I think we can offer the best knowledge and perspective.

And it's yeah, we don't have all the answers, but we feel our conversations that we're choosing to be vulnerable and choosing to go inward and choosing to share honestly.

I think we think that could be valuable to individuals and people in relationships.

And we hope you just can take a few nuggets here and there and know that you're not alone and that everyone's in a mess.

This is our otherwise, adding intimacy in this way and how beautiful that is to create a stronger relationship, not just like a marriage, but like a friendship and partnership and to learn from one another.

And we have a lot of fun.

Yeah, well, I think it's, to your point, it's like this is also forcing us to have these conversations.

I would say encouraged.

Yeah, it's not forced, but I'm saying like we're choosing, we have a night, we're dedicated to it.

Like we have kids and we're tired and a lot goes on.

Crap happens all the time.

Sometimes you just want to sit down and watch TV and veg out and not communicate.

But this is a time we're giving ourselves the space to be open and vulnerable and share with one another.

So I think it's great in our relation to have this open communication, have a way and a time and place that we'll talk about habits probably in some episodes, but a time or place that we're going to be open and communicate and be vulnerable and share ideas with each other.

So that's what I've been most excited about this is I love, you know, I love this stuff.

So I love getting to do with you.

It could be the ultimate thing for me is that I get to share these experiences and have these conversations with you.

So I'm just pumped for it.

I get excited for Thursday nights.

And Thursday is always my favorite day of the week.

So the fact that we record on Thursdays, it's Friday.

I think it's from college because Thursday, Thursdays are always awesome.

I think it's naturally subconsciously in our brain.

Thursday is like way better.

The best night of college.

Friday, like people don't even go out when they're too hungover.

But you notice thinking about what you just said about the choice thing, because even tonight, after the kids go down, all the things, we haven't sat and watched TV.

That's what I was thinking.

For so long.

You went out last night with your girlfriends, and I suddenly was like, I don't know the last time I turned on this TV, except for the kids shows.

I was like, what's the last thing I watched?

I had no idea.

Which is cool.

So it comes down to a choice.

And so that was a big thing that Jarrod has taught me.

He used to say this phrase, and it would piss me off because I really didn't see it in the way that I see it now.

And the phrase is, it's on you.

And it's on you, right?

And you can take that in a lot of different ways.

But the way that I see it now is that every single thing is a choice.

So I have a choice to go, to think about things in a certain way.

It's not just actions, right?

To your point, it's like when something happens, an experience or something happens to you, it's your choice to decide the meaning behind it.

Everything literally is a choice, right?

Not the maybe some external things, that pain that you suffer or things like that, but it is your choice to respond.

And I want to just preface here, because I haven't always been this way.

So I tend to still be a half empty person, half glass, half empty.

And you know what I am?

I'm a full glass.

The glass is overflowing.

We all know.

But I have moments.

We know you're perfect.

I know.

But I'm saying that I just, it's important to know that I'm sharing this from my side now, because I have gotten a little over the hump where I can see back now.

And I like it better over here.

And so that's why I'm sharing it.

But I'm still dealing with the peaks and valleys and constantly reworking and reframing and trying really hard.

And so you're going to hear a lot of positivity and a lot of rah-rah and things you can do and get yourself out there and do all the things.

But please also fucking know, like this is hard and nobody's perfect, right?

It's hard.

It's really, really hard.

But it is also a choice.

And we won't go into all that for our first episode, but I do want to just share that.

Yeah, no, I hope they hear that, too, because you're going to hear a lot of positive messaging and ways of thinking and just do this and do this.

But that's not our intent.

We also want to...

We also will share painful things and hard and vulnerable aspects and stuff like that.

And we don't know.

We don't know what's going to happen or what experiences are going to come to our life while recording these different things.

But we want to share that with you and most importantly share our processing through those moments, through those shows.

And to that point, processing as an individual while also processing with your spouse or a partner.

Because that is something that I think a lot of people struggle with is communication, especially around uncomfortable and vulnerable topics about how somebody feels.

They're different.

Processing as an individual versus processing as a couple is different because now you have two people's ways of processing involved.

Right.

So it does become different.

And if you are individually feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable, imagine how hard that is to actually talk to your partner about it.

So this is why we also want to set an example of having those uncomfortable conversations.

So let's talk a little bit about how this will be set up.

So one way is what you're really hearing right now is just an open conversation.

A little banter.

Yeah, you're going to hear some funny things.

Jarrod, he would not let me edit something, and you'll hear some of these things sometimes.

It's funny.

I mean, we think it's funny.

Yeah, who knows if anyone's going to laugh.

But some of the episodes will be really conversation based about something that's come up, and we want to break it down and talk about it.

Other times, there are going to be much more focused topics that we think are really valuable or life lessons that we've gained.

I think Jarrod has like this game thing that he wants to play where we have like random topics that we each come with different things and we pick them.

Also, if you have things that you want to learn about, please let us know.

We'll riff it.

We would love to do that.

So episodes will be typically will be with us together.

There could be and most likely will be, I know Jarrod is chomping at the bit to do this, to have individual episodes.

We'll each do those.

I used to have a podcast, and I really enjoyed having guests that I got to learn about.

I know Jarrod would love to do that as well.

And then together, Jarrod's dream is to have a guest over for dinner while we are recording.

And Jarrod is an amazing cook.

So if you are a guest here, you are very lucky to be in his kitchen, is what I'll call it.

I'll go like that.

So we'll have lots of different styles of episodes, lots of different types of topics, things in marriage, things about partnership in marriage and communication, things in parenting, parenting, neurodiverse child, parenting just in general, individual growth, personal development.

What else would you say that's in there?

Spirituality maybe?

Yes, spirituality.

Meditation?

Meditation, trauma, grief.

Therapy.

Therapy.

Therapy, I mean, our lives.

It's our conversations, yeah, our lives.

It's probably what most people have, all those topics that they have in their lives.

Anything you could think about of being human, we're gonna probably talk about in some shape or another.

Oh, I love that, like the human experience.

Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

We're talking about the human experience.

And everything that comes along with it.

Yeah, I think it's really great.

And how we navigate it as individuals, as a couple, as parents.

Yeah, that's what we're gonna talk about.

Yeah, I love it.

And some of these episodes will be little shorts and bits that are like quick, and I'll give you some information that you can take away.

Maybe, as Jarrod said, some nuggets that you can eat.

I was thinking about chicken nuggets.

And thinking cooking.

I make really good chicken tenders.

What is that called again?

Your chicken tender salad?

Chicken tender salad.

But others could be longer in length, but it's really just going to be organic and to flow.

That's why we called it Over Dinner.

We're having dinner.

And every dinner is different.

Everyone's different.

Yeah.

Except our kids who are eating the same fucking thing.

Same thing.

Yeah.

Well, anyways, that's really all I had.

Is there anything else that you would like to share to our friends?

I'm just really excited.

More personally, just that we get to have these conversations.

And I think we both have a yearning and deeper purpose to share what we learn.

And I'm just glad that we get to do this together.

I always felt our paths are going to cross, and this just feels the right time and the right moment.

I couldn't be more excited to more share this with you.

I feel exactly the same way.

But thank you for all those kind words.

I love you.

Thank you so much for listening to our first episode.

We're really excited to have you on this journey with us.

Please subscribe to the podcast.

Please reach out to us.

You can see all our contact information in the show notes.

We'd love to hear from you, what's resonating with you, and what more you want to hear from.

So thank you.

We're looking forward to having you on our journey.

Bye.