I Know What I’ll Tell My Daughter When She Starts To Question Her Body Image.

I have a main document that I write in it’s called What Nik Knows.

It houses 138,112 words.

Within the over 100,000 words the word weight came up more times than I’d like to admit.

Some were more positive than others but I was disappointed to know how much mental real estate this topic has taken up.

Whether it was calorie counting when I was younger or determining macros in the more recent years it’s clear to me that just being comfortable in my own skin at the current moment is not something that comes natural to me.

Yesterday I found photos of myself from my 24th birthday.

I hate looking back at old photos and think “gosh, i looked so good i can’t believe I was so mean to myself.”

I have a daughter who’s almost 2 years old.

They say by 4 little girls already recognize what is socially acceptable and what is not.

I am determined to change this narrative for myself so that this foolishness does not take up the same brain power as it has for me.

So, I know what I’ll tell my daughter when she starts to question her body image.

I’ll tell her:

Your body will change over the course of your lifetime.

It’s supposed to happen that way.

So many things influence our body and weight.

And those “things” are milestones & memories from your life that you want to remember and embrace.

From puberty, to athletics, to college nights with too many drinks and too many snacks, to medication changes, to metabolism slowing, to being a blissful newlywed, growing babies, maneuvering postpartum, and cheese boards in your thirties…

Your body will change because it’s suppose to.

Some years you’ll eat more.

Some years you’ll eat less.

Some months will include more sugar and some months there will be less.

The number on the scale will go up and down.

And this is not a bad thing or something to judge.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to love yourself.

Because when you love yourself — you then treat yourself with the utmost respect and kindness.

And because of that you will feed yourself nourishing fuel while also really enjoying those girls night outs with too many margaritas.

You will teach yourself balance.

You will teach yourself to be fluid.

Because that’s all we have in life.

Change, fluidity, and acceptance.

So, to little nikki.

I am sorry for being so harsh to you all those years.

It pains me so deeply to know that you second guess yourself and that you have felt ugly and fat.

I want my daughter to look back on photos of herself and think “man, that was so much fun!” rather than thinking about what she looked like.

And in order for that to be possible,

it’s on me to make the change…

every.single.day. and after every single cookie, holiday season, and “indulgence”.

I am the change.